gilbertofawesomeness

well I'm back. . .if that's good, I don't know. I wanna tell someone somethng but at the ame time I am afraid of what they will say. Well they hate me? Yell at me?agnolage me? Or just think i'm doing it for people to notice me? heh I sound like canada right now don't I? But I just can't find the right time to do it. I'm leaveing for tennessee sunday morning so that wouldn't be goo to tell them at christmas. Maybe when we get back. That way evenyone will see me happy and I won't give my grandmother a heart attack. I want to get better but I just can't say it to her. I'm hopelessly lost. SOS. attion center stage we've got a ______ star. A tragic case, no more then a hopeless life. SOS. . please?

I guess we all have problems. So insted of publicly putting them on the internet I am just writing a journal. I learned that it was a stupid mistake to put My life sucks. Who cares about my problems really haha. Attention center stage we've got a suicidal star. Another tragic case, no more than a broken heart. With that I bid you farwell.
~England

So today me and a guy friend went iceskating and buy the end of it were are now dating lol. Funny how things turned out. oh i'm also the first girl he held hands with XD I feel special. :3
<3

So today im sick sadly and just woke up from an awesome nap. I was outside and it was snowing. There was a bare tree and a stone bench next to it. There was also a old light post. It was sorta like those sappy animes where the guy makes a mistake ,and the girl runs off to be alone but doesn't really want to so she goes to the park where they use to hang around a lot and starts to cry because she thinks no-one loves her and that she won't be missed if she just dissapeared. So I bring a bag with me and bring out a gun for the bag and aim it at my head. I was about to pull the triger when I take out another thing that was as white as snow. So pure. A white rose. Then I set it infront of me. I whisper something I cannot remember then I pull the triger. The bullet went into me and I slowly faded away. And so the last drop fell from my head fully covering the pure white rose in a sicking crimson red. . . Its' whole life everyone thought that the rose was fine alway so happy and smileing but no-one knew that inside it was dyeing. It got so tired of the bulling and harrasment that it just . . .gave up. . . Yeah sure we all have our problems but sometimes some people aren't strong enough to handle it. Sticks and Stones may brake my bones but words will make me starve mself to death. Someone once said to me 'how can a little body hold so much anger?' the truth, Is that she never got to get rid of it. Always keeping things inside. It starts to get to you. She learned how to keep her anger in check but her anger is still the same as it once was. She is a bome waiting to explode when she gets the chance. She made people cry by her words and the weird part is that she never felt sorry. . . she loved to see people crumble under her. Looking so pathedic and weak. It makes her feel like she isn't a loser and that she is here. She crys herself to sleep sometimes and she makes fun of herself for it. It is like she is on a lesh. Ifsomeone were to take it off her she would release all her anger. All those people that hurt her she would huurt them as much as they have hurt her. She would fight till she is too exausted to continue. When she wakes up she will start over again,and again, and again .One time her mother even wanted her to go to tharapy to find out why she was so angery all the time. . . that poor rose

I know I should be getting over him. But I can't help but cry a little when I hear someone say his name. It has been 5 days sense we broke up and it hurts to know that he doesn't love me fully as I love him. And seeing my brother with his girlfriend having so much fun makes me feel so alone. it is stupid. </3